


Ataraxia

by Kathris89



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Comfort, DA2 spoilers, F/M, Friendship, Goodbyes, Introspection, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14702670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathris89/pseuds/Kathris89
Summary: In the aftermath of the battle with Meredith, Hawke finds herself on the Wounded Coast, contemplating what she will do next.





	Ataraxia

Hawke is sitting down, gazing at the sea in front of her, basking in the late afternoon sun. She closes her eyes, breathing deeply in. With slow motions, she takes off her boots, baring her feet. She stands up, leaving them behind, and walks among the rocks by the water, feeling them beneath her feet, a strange calmness running through her.

The water laps at her feet, slow, lazy waves, the slippery rocks underneath. It lends everything a surreal feeling, a different world from the mayhem she left behind. When she closes her eyes, she can still see fire and rubble and too many bodies…

Placing one foot in front of the other, Hawke keeps on walking as the day comes to an end. She hates running away, she hates it has come to this. The place she’s called home for the past decade now to be left behind. There are so many bones piling beneath her, she almost can’t catch her breath. And as she walks barefoot, her fists clench at her sides, breath hitching up.

She looks up again, the coast stretching out before her. She can walk, feeling the rocks breaking her skin, a small discomfort she can easily cast away. In between her fingers white light shines, but she doesn’t complete the spell.

Her friends are waiting on the campsite, hidden on a cave. They don’t fear pursuit, not really, Knight-Captain Cullen has given them a small reprise. But Hawke knows someone will come looking for them. It’s inevitable. They’ll look for her, she is the flame and the moths always come to her. She digs her fingers in her palms and breathes slowly. She knows she has to get away, but knowing doesn’t make it easier. She pictures her friends’ faces, trying to imagine what the future will hold for them. They must part ways from her or they’ll always be in danger. She can’t loose anyone else, she won’t loose any one of them.

Aveline will return to Kirkwall, she has Donnic and the guard, she’ll be safest of them all in the city. Hawke is willing to bet that Kirkwall will even turn to her for some sense of safety, they trust their Captain. They’ll welcome her back, they’ll rally behind her.

Isabela always wanted to go back to sea, it might be the time to actually do it; the pirate has a knack for disappearing, and Hawke knows she’ll be able to take care of herself this time too. She knows Isabela only stuck around for her, and now she’ll be free again.

Merrill is a little trickier, she must admit. The naive elf might have powerful magic, but there’s no clan waiting for her, will she be alright? Maybe Isabela can look after her, take her far away from the Free Marches, at least for a time. Things _will_ calm down.

She must write to Carver, though she doubts anyone will look for her Grey Warden brother. If only to warn him, to keep a lifeline to her only family… She sighs and stops, the wind whipping her hair over her face, she turns to the sea and what lies beyond.

Hawke thinks Varric will go back to Kirkwall, he can hide with his contacts for a time, running things from the shadows, he’s good at that. Aveline might even be able to provide some amount of protection for him. Or he might leave while things calm down some. She’s not sure, Varric was her trusty dwarf for the best part of her adult life, but he is his own man, and he’ll do whatever he feels is best.

Anders… She won’t think about Anders.

Hawke knows every one of them would follow her, anywhere. She just needs to ask, and they’ll leave everything behind. And it moves her so deeply to have found her family in her friends, and so she won’t ask. She’ll leave and hope they’ll forgive her cowardice. It hurts her, in a more deep and physical way than she expected, to think about leaving them, of leaving at all, but it’s what she must do.

As Hawke resumes her path, the water a cool soothe for her scraped feet, she eventually comes to a boat, prepared long ago for an emergency plan. She uncovers it, casting a few spells under her breath. She takes comfort in getting it ready, as the sun lowers in the horizon of the Wounded Coast. She places a small bag inside, the few supplies she’d dared take from the cave.

She feels his presence before she hears his footsteps. Hawke sighs and smiles ruefully, turning around.

Fenris stands there, silently watching her. He doesn’t say anything, and for a moment they’re captured in a plateau of sea and shadows of the dying sun.

Then, he reaches out to her, extending his strong hand to her, and after a small moment of hesitation, she reaches out and takes it. Fenris steps up to her, and Hawke knows he understands.

In the background, she notices her friends, Isabela’s arm around Merill’s shoulder, Aveline’s mouth captured somewhere between a smile and a grimace, and Varric’s own trade grin on his mouth.

Hwake never once doubted her friends’ love, and in that moment, as the sun begins to disappear, she knows they _do_ understand. It’s all she can do not to cry.

Turning to Fenris, she finds him smiling her favorite smile. She finds her own smile as he leans over and captures her lips in a soft kiss.

As day turns to nights, Hawke is sitting on the boat, Fenris beside her, and with her friends’ unspoken farewell, they leave for whatever awaits them on a distant shore.

**Author's Note:**

> Ataraxia: A state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquility.


End file.
